A gift to self

Intuitively, I was called to book myself in for a traditional Hawaiian Ho'oponopono session with Nurture by Manalani.

For some context, I first met Manalani on the shores of the beautiful Halifax Beach in Worimi Country, participating in a gathering that supports mental health and suicide prevention named Talk 2 Me Bro. Manalani shared the wisdom of the ancestors through her Hawaiian learnings and teachings via a conch shell ceremony. I was blessed by her presence that day and drawn to everything she stands for. I was even more humbled by the gift of her warm and nurturing hug as she departed to attend other commitments.

From this moment on, I quietly followed and supported the works she does in this realm. Integrating and processing my own interpretations and seeking more information and knowledge along the way. Popping in to see her as she ran her Nurture Bar food van. Following along her journey through social media and stepping into the room of Reader’s Retreat to share in a round table talk of such teaching and learnings. I was and still am very drawn to her presence and the light she shines upon all she meets. There are many more moments I could share here where Manalani (Donna) has touched my life in ways I've felt seen and heard... yet I shall return to my initial story; my journey through Ho'oponopono.

Once I booked myself in, I sat with my intention, the word HEAL!

To heal and unpack any baggage from my past so that I can release the weight of luggage I've been carrying for far too long. To surrender and open to the support and the care of others and release what no longer serves me so that I can step into the best version of myself that I can be. The desire was; CHANGE. To rekindle the part of me that longs to be remembered and realigned. To release my misconceptions of trust issues with men and holding a relationship with an intimate lifelong partner. And oh my... what a profound experience it was.

Over the years l've explored many different therapies and healing modalities. Naturally, each offered something valuable, something to experience and grow from, none, quite shifted my being the way Ho'oponopono has. It was a journey of pure witness, love, compassion and uptmost safety. There was no diagnosis, no trying to fix or hand over a script. It was purely HUMAN connection, clarification and homecoming to its ultimate magnificence. A walk with our divine and the encounters of our spirit teams. Tears of grief, sadness, loneliness and uncertainty poured out from within, washing away the shame, guilt, anger, abandonment and disconnect from experiences that had not previously had a safe space to land - at least not un-judged. Here, simply seen and owned. Laughter filled the air, providing a kind of joy and hope that rekindles dreams. Forgiveness wrapped its loving arms around me and LOVE, deep love from holding full responsibility and gratitude for the journey I've travelled, reignited the light within. It gave my life experience thus far a place to be witnessed and held, where it had otherwise been ignored, suppressed and swept under the rug. It became a journey back home to myself. A space to unleash every Pöhaku (stone) that had buried my light.

Ho'oponopono is often shared or talked about as being a mantra known as or referred to as "I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you" yet the truth of the matter, is far deeper. Traditional Ho'oponopono is, a Hawaiian process of reconciliation, forgiveness and restoration of who we are.

At its heart, it holds the understanding that many of our stories, beliefs and patterns carried, can shape how we experience the world around us. It is not a mantra, but a way of living, a way of being. Ho'oponopono lovingly holds the hand of accountability, of respect, of taking responsibility and then through forgiveness guides us back to infinite reconciliation. For me it was a journey back to alignment, a returning to the essence of who it is I am. Who I desire to be and what I am called to do in this realm. What struck me the most was not the healing itself, but the simplicity of it. The simplicity of taking radical responsibility for my own inner world. The simplicity of releasing what no longer belongs or serves me. And the simplicity to surrender and make peace with the parts of myself that had been begging to be seen. I left feeling lighter. Softer. More connected and whole. On a euphoric high for life. It’s held me captivated ever since. It quietly whispered ‘you are safe to remember who you truly are’.

Manalani has a gift that holds you safe and takes you on a journey through the timeline of your life. Together you process the wounds and all the heavy rocks of negative forces that are picked up along the way of your life. You view them, you voice them, you own them, you forgive them and you return back home to yourself. In Hawaii, they share the story that we are all born with a complete bowl of light, as we begin to grow and journey through our life, we pick up Pohaku (stones) which are also known in the personal development world as negative impacts, like grief, pain, neglect, abuse, anything that is viewed in a negative manner, these Pohaku begin to weigh us down and dim our light. Even if we loose sight of our light, it remains within. Like stars- we don’t always see them but we KNOW each other are there. Ho’oponopono reignites the essence of who we were born and always destined to be. Our light within, now freed to shine and share with those called with willingness to;

HEAL.

BELIEVE.

CHANGE.

TRUST.

DO.

BE.

To follow the souls purpose and keep fucking going!

Written and experienced by

Amanda Lee Pigram 💞